Wrong Answers Only: How to Celebrate Pride 2025
The gays? We’re tired.
As Pride 2025 rolls around, we brace ourselves for the usual suspects: an explosion of rainbow logos, increasingly questionable pride collections at Target, and yes — Chapelle Roan on aux (as she should be).
But with all this talk about “love is love” something feels like it’s missing.
Because being queer isn’t just about who you are; it’s about chaotic counter culture, ruthless group chats, and having mixed feelings about the word “camp” after the 2019 Met Gala. Where is the rainbow capitalism for the gays who love hate as much as they love love?
So we present to you Earthly Venus’s official guide for How to Celebrate Pride 2025. We asked our community for wrong answers only, and y’all did not disappoint.
34 Ways to Celebrate Pride 2025
1. Try an enema
You need to be prepared — spiritually, emotionally, and… intestinally.
2. Kiss me on the lips (girls only)
A time-honored tradition. No feelings, just vibes and mild confusion.
Photo by Earthly Venus. What if feeling sexy didn’t have to mean performing for anyone else? At Earthly Venus, boudoir is about discovering how you want to see yourself.
3. Buy anal lube
The most meaningful investment you can make . Be generous.
4. Make a Grindr account
Not to meet anyone — just to silently judge profiles within a 200-ft radius.
5. Get a mullet
Business in the front, alt they/them from brooklyn in the back.
6. Meet a girl and move in with her NOW
Lesbianism is a speedrun. U-Hauling is not optional.
7. Throw away your condoms
You’re raw-dogging life, politics and hot strangers this June.
8. Use the F slur (just to see how it feels)
Say it loud, say it proud, and then immediately log off.
9. Choose to be gay
The straight agenda is tired.
10. Go vegan
Not for the animals. For the drama.
11. Make a public apology for using the F slur
You really shouldn’t have done that, and you’re working on growing and changing. Bonus points if you use an iPhone Notes app screenshot.
12. Iced beverages ONLY
Your gender identity should not be warmer than your cold brew.
13. Have gay sex
Self explanatory.
14. Nude selfies
Body positivity? Sure. Body posting? Mandatory. Bonus points if it’s shot at Earthly Venus — obviously — where your butt gets the lighting it deserves.
Photo by Earthly Venus. These portraits are a reminder that you’re allowed to take up space, feel powerful, and look incredible doing it. Boudoir is where it begins.
15. Denounce pronouns
Gender? Over it. Only communicate via eye contact, astrology, and interpretive dance.
16. Ask your parents if they ever had a gay phase
They’ll lie. But you’ll know.
17. Make a gay best friend (boy)
Step one of your personal queer cinematic universe as an ally.
18. Ask your new gay best friend “would you kiss them?” every time you see another gay man
This is your Roman Empire. Never let it die.
19. Wear jorts
It’s not fashion — it’s a uniform.
20. Buy a strap on
Even if you don’t use it. It’s a statement piece.
21. Punch a straighty (they deserve it)
Consider it performance art. Or community service.
22. Buy a carabiner clip to hook to your jorts
Some carry pepper spray. You carry cultural significance.
23. Go on prep
An important part of your allyship. Health is gay. Responsibility is hot.
24. Kiss a girl. Tell her that you’re not gay, but if you were gay she would totally be your type
Nothing is sexier than emotional terrorism.
25. Follow JoJo Siwa on Spotify
She’s queer, she’s loud, and Karma is legally required to be on your Pride playlist.
26. Publicly criticize JoJo Siwa
You hate her an her new boyfriend.
27. Get Belligerently Drunk
It’s not alcoholism because all gay shots are doubles.
28. Do poppers
Unlock a new chakra. Or tear open the veil between dimensions.
29. Join a polycule
It’s like a group chat, but with more emotional labor.
30. Advocate for straight divorce
Liberate the straights. Free them from each other.
31. Comment “I would leave my husband for you” on a lesbian thirst trap
It's not creepy, it’s supportive.
32. Buy a cameo from George Santos
Cherish whatever words of wisdom he bestows upon you.
33. Call your boss “Daddy”
You might get fired, but you might get a raise.
34. Change Genders
Out of boredom. Out of protest. Out of fashion. The options are endless.
The Best way to Celebrate Pride 2025
No matter how you choose to spend Pride 2025, remember that this is a season about getting naked, and loving yourself out loud.
So obviously the best way to celebrate Pride this year is to book a photo shoot with Earthly Venus. Because nothing says radical queer joy like turning the lens on yourself, reclaiming your body, and honoring every curve, scar, kink, and curl in high definition.
Pride Is Personal — Let’s Talk About Yours
Book a free consultation call to chat with us about your dream session — no pressure, no prep (other than the pills/injections your medical provider already has you set up for) – just you, your ideas, and a space where you're already enough. This is your opportunity to learn about the process and see if a photoshoot is right for you.
